A Hare-Raising Tale...

Candy candy candy. I love candy. Candy here, candy there, candy in my underwear (that is, if rabbits wore drawers). *gobble gobble* No, don't give me any of that pet chocolate shtuff, I want me some good eatin's! I didn't become mutated for nothing! *gobble*

All Hallow's Eve is a wondrous time when youths of all species enjoy donning an alternate identity. Why, just five minutes ago a brown bear cub came ToTing to my door, dressed as a human. Such a cliche costume, it's been around for years. Still, the quest to achieve either a trick or a treat is a daunting one, and treats are tossed around like an overclocked lawn sprinkler.

I remember some of the costumes I used to bust out. My favorite might have been the maniacal bunny with razor sharp teeth; now that was a complete transformation...

Anyways, I hope any of you ToTers have a good time. Be safe, double check that candy, and don't eat it all in one night (unless you have super metabolism, then go nuts - unless you are alergic). I'm gunna go and watch "Curse of the Were-Rabbit"...oh that Wallace...Happy Halloween!

birethday bunbny

i gaavewr my tyypijist the nijght offd for huijsd bfirthday, soo itrs just me tohnit. Itsd ratjher dikffdicult to typr with pasws like thids, so thid ewill hacve to be dshort.



today i baskedf in trhe gloryu oifd my sewrvant, eatibng naxchosd andf derinbkibng soda.,

i rermemberre my couisdinsd bkirthsaty xclebrstion, it ewa oddf trer hook..

foregrety it, rasbbits reaslly got sdcrrewed on ther whole abilikty to effercftrively communicste, the stoty weill have to wasit fore anpother dasy. Cheeersd.

Bunny-volution

You might wanna grab your headlamp and dusting brush the next time you are cleaning your house, cause you might be walking straight into an archaeological dig!

Recent cottontail studies have unearthed an amazing discovery. Fossilized remains of an ancient rabbit culture have been found in the dining region of Housera. This incredible finding has been given the name Bunnus dustius (or merely "Dusty"), and it is now believed that Dusty is now one of the earliest examples of rabbit frivolity.

Many critics say this finding is merely yet another report of Doggus hairus, but I know that's bollocks. Being an expert in the field (I got my B.S. in Social Evolution at Elizabethtown College...the carrot cake suckered me in), I got a chance to take a close look at the specimen. Upon examining the creature's structure and anatomical anomalies, my hypothesis was confirmed.

This always makes me think about the constant changing of our species. Why was Dusty killed off? What do I have that makes me such a better mold? What will become of Bunnus? Will the future bunnies have laser beams and extendable rolls of duct tape to stick our tails back on? What will happen to them...will we (Bunnus Modernis) ever coexist with them?

Coincidentally, this occurrence has coincided with an important human archaeological find, one of Ardipithecus ramidus (or "Ardi" if you are a normal person). Because of the humanoid control over the world, they get a special, "Discovering Ardi," tonight (10/11) on Discovery at 9PM. Copycats.

Renny Rants #1: Meat Walls

Well, that might be taking it too literally, but you get the general idea.

My irregular bunny hormones normally keep me from getting upset, or "livid," as certain Top Cheftestants like to eloquently put it. However, there are always certain actions that will instinctively make any species cringe and shake in frothy anger ("hulk-anize," as I shall put it).

Therefore, every now and then when I spot a tasty morsel worthy of rant-anizing, I may post it here. So without further ado...haha doo...

Why must groups of individuals insist on blocking passageways with conversation? I mean, they are welcome to be social, but can't they be social in a setting that doesn't cause a traffic jam? This is not a ravenous romp, does and bulls; the point of a pathway is to have a way to walk down the path. There is no way I'm getting past that blabbering armadillo surrounded by a flank of hedgehogs and porcupines.

I have prepared a couple of figures to prove my point (you are welcome to click on them for a full animated demonstration). First, we will refer to Figure 1, which displays a free-flowing pathway:

Notice how the four individuals can smoothly transition from Point Here to Point There? This is the way it should work. Meanwhile, those who wish to chat it up can do so beyond the black lines, away from the flow of traffic.

Now take heed at Figure 2, which shows a much darker and disastrous output:

Oh dear, what do we have here? A seemingly innocent "paddle" of Pac-people (paddle = a gang of Pac-people) have now been construed as dotty fools who enjoy keeping the Squares from getting to their Math classes.

Based upon the visual evidence, I strongly any of you "blockers" to move your gaggle to the side, or in a different locale, to allow for maximum happiness in all parties involved.

No need to debate - RELOCATE!

rabbit rabbit... (for realz)

Rabbit rabbit, folks. Yes, me me. Just please stop yoinking out tails off and storing them on a metallic chain, that really isn't cool. I mean, why do humans get all the luck? There we are, sneaking into Farmer Joe's Carrot Village, when *RIP* we turn around and spot some immature little boy, white fur in hand. All of a sudden, a searing pain emanates from the rumpal region, and knowing we took a good BM earlier that day, we know that can't be the case. It also feels rather drafty back there, and we metaphorically smack our heads, knowing another tail has been stolen by the sapiens.

Maybe we could sell you our extra fur at a reasonable price when we're molting, but this is a horrible time of year to be sabotaging the heat in our seat. I mean, the temps are dropping rather quickly lately, and my caboose is not meant to be utilized as an ice maker.

We beg you to find another means of luck. Stay away from horseshoes as well - you're making all the horses lose courage. Without courage, how will those stallions jump over cliffs and equestrian-related mascots will lose faith in their respective teams worldwide.

Long story short, do you feel lucky pal? Do you? Happy October!